There are certain moments in your life that will forever be seared into your memory.
Several years ago, I was in the office one morning when Trent Knuckles came in the door and informed us that a friend of mine had killed himself.
I was in shock. I was floored.
“I just spoke to him 24 hours ago!” I exclaimed.
At the time, I didn’t have a clue anything was wrong.
The friend and I had bumped into each other the prior day. We were both over at the courthouse waiting to speak to the same official.
We hadn’t seen each other in a while. We chit chatted for probably half an hour as we waited. He spent much of his time talking about his wife and his only daughter.
He seemed perfectly fine. I had no clue that anything was wrong with him.
Finally, the official that we needed to speak with got free. What I needed was only going to take about two minutes, so I spoke with the official first and left.
It was the last time that I saw my friend.
Soon after I saw him that day, my friend had a huge professional set back. I have no doubt that is what triggered his suicide.
Even after all these years, it still bothers me to think about it. I think that it probably always will.
A few years after that, a friend of mine had stopped by my office. His wife had died recently. He confided in me that he had gotten really, really low after her death. He had thought about killing himself.
Before he left that day, I made him look me in the eye and promise me that if he ever got that low again that he would call me before he did anything. He promised that he would.
While I have lost touch with that friend after his work changed, it is my understanding that he is doing pretty good now. The last that I heard, he had gotten remarried and seems to be doing well.
Sometimes when someone is planning to kill themselves, they will appear perfectly normal.
Other times there are warning signs, such as someone giving away prized possessions or quitting things that they are involved with that they enjoy.
I remember one friend posting on Facebook one time that they were quitting some organizations that they were involved in. I got a little concerned, so I sent an e-mail to the friend noting that I had seen this and just asked if he was OK.
As it turned out, he was fine. He was planning to attend graduate school and was just trying to simplify his life before he did so. He thanked me for asking though, and noted that I was the only person who did.
September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Most years during the month of September, I try to write a version of this column in hopes that it will help someone.
If you know someone who is struggling and you are concerned about them, then reach out. Make a phone call, send a text, drop them an e-mail. Just let them know that you are thinking of them.
Let them know that someone cares.
Occasionally, if someone that I know is struggling with something, I will send them a simple text or leave them a note that just says, “hang in there” to let them know that I am thinking about them. I hope that it helps.
If you are down and thinking about taking your own life, then I would say please don’t. If for no other reason, because of the impact it will have on your friends and loved ones.
I guarantee it will have a negative impact on at least one person that you care about.
Also, if you are thinking about taking your life, please know this. Sadly, you are not alone. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death overall in the United States and is the second leading cause of death for people ages 10-34. In Kentucky, there is a death by suicide every 11 hours.
If you are thinking about ending your life, please know there are resources available and people you can speak with.
Among other resources, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached 24 hours a day by dialing 988. Texting and chatting with 988 is also available for people in a mental health or substance use crisis.
To anyone reading this column, who is thinking about or planning to kill themselves, I would say please call or text 988 first.
Look at it this way.
What do you have to lose?
