I went to the Excellence in Leadership Series at the University of the Cumberlands (UC) to see James Clear for work. I left feeling like a completely different person. Listening to him talk about identity made me think about my own—who I am now, and who I was when I was a student there.
When I arrived on campus, I didn’t have to think about where I was going. I had walked that route so many times. I graduated from UC in May of 2024.
I know that wasn’t that long ago, but it feels like everything has changed in such a short amount of time. The goals and dreams I had right before graduation look completely different now. If that much can change in such a short amount of time, I can’t help but wonder how much more will change in the next couple of years.
The people I saw every single day, the ones I’d drive around town with in my nearly-broken car are no longer a phone call away. Some aren’t even in the same state anymore. I still have voicemails from an old friend yelling at me to wake up because he wanted lunch from the caf (yes, I know it’s spelled café, but that’s not how we pronounced it).
UC was so much more than the classes I took or the exams I studied daily for several hours that would make or break my future. It was everything in between. UC was the experiences I created while I was in band, performing at Spotlight, working at the Cookout in town, or working at UC’s library. Can I admit now I spent most of those library shifts playing games on the computer? Whenever a student came to check out a book or a laptop, I’d switch tabs with a smile. I can’t get in trouble anymore, right?
I loved my time there, but I don’t think I fully understood how much life changes after college until I was living it.
Back then, making friends felt so easy. The first friend I made on campus, I simply walked up to him and said, “My name is Leeann. Wanna get Chick-fil-A with me? You look like you play games, and that’s cool.” He was my friend throughout college. Turns out, he was cool. He was funny, too. I watched him fall off a skateboard once. Now, making friends seems nearly impossible, and once you do make one, maintaining that closeness is even harder.
Everyone is busy. People are working, exhausted, living paycheck to paycheck. Plans get canceled, schedules don’t line up, and before you know it, something you said you’d do together never happens at all.
I miss college.
I miss playing games in the dorm and inviting friends over. They always came, because it was within walking distance and this seemed more fun than the 10-page essay due the next day.
As I walked out of the gym with the crowd of students, I found myself watching which direction everyone went, trying to guess where they were headed.
Were they going left to get blended strawberries and cream from the library’s coffee shop? Or right to grab a Chick-Fill-A sandwich? I bet the line was going to be so long.
I was going to my car to get on the interstate and drive home. UC isn’t home anymore, but I can recall a time when it was.
